Frustration, anger and aggression: Three distinct but related concepts

Three psychological concepts which are often discussed in tandem with each other are frustration, anger, and aggression. Given that many situations we encounter give rise to their co-occurrence, it is tempting to view them as interchangeable.

In fact, despite their often appearing together they are distinct concepts. In the following sections, I will describe how frustration, anger and aggression differ from each other and how they interact with each other in situations we encounter.

What are frustration, anger and aggression?

Frustration and anger are both emotions while aggression is a behaviour. Frustration is an emotion experienced when we are blocked from achieving a goal. It arises when we get stuck in traffic on our way to a destination and when we believe we are not making progress in our career, school, sport, or other pursuit. We can also experience frustration in relationships such with a partner who does not want to commit to a long-term relationship or with a child who repeatedly does not do what their parent wants or expects them to do.

Anger is an emotion which can be experienced independent of frustration as well because of it. We feel this emotion in situations when we believe others are not behaving respectfully toward us—intentionally or otherwise.

In the context of frustration, we often experience anger in relation to the object of our frustration—that is, toward whoever or whatever we believe is blocking us from achieving our goal. So, we feel anger toward are partner who does not want to commit the long term relationship we seek, we feel anger toward our child who repeatedly does not do what we as a parent want or expect them to do, and we feel anger toward our work supervisor who assigns us a large task on Friday afternoon which must be completed by first thing Monday morning—thereby preventing us from getting away for a relaxing weekend.

Aggression is a behaviour intended to cause physical or emotional harm or damage to a person or an object. It includes actions such as hitting a person or punching a wall as well as verbal forms of aggression such as criticizing, insulting, or swearing at a person.

In anger management terms, aggression is considered a nonconstructive way to manage or act on anger when we experience this emotion. It contrasts with constructive alternative ways of managing or acting on anger when we experience it. For example, if you were to experience anger following someone behaving in a disrespectful manner toward you, you could act on your anger constructively by letting the person know how hurt you were by their behaviour or you could act on your anger aggressively by hitting them or insulting them.

How frustration, anger and aggression operate in tandem

When frustration, anger and aggression operate in tandem with each other, it is typically in the form of a sequence of events. Much like a play in a football game, these events occur rapidly and are difficult to notice in real time but can be analyzed when viewed like a play in slow-motion video.

The sequence begins with the person experiencing frustration out of believing that they are being blocked from achieving a goal. Please note that they will feel frustration if they believe they are blocked. On some occasions the evidence may indicate that they are indeed being blocked while on other occasions they believe they are blocked even though the evidence does not indicate this. This is a good example of the adage, ‘Situations which are defined as real are real in their consequences’.

Once the person experiences frustration because they believe they are blocked from achieving a goal, they may then experience anger in relation to the perceived source of their frustration—that is, in relation to whoever or whatever they believe is blocking them from achieving their goal. Finally, the person may then behave aggressively toward the perceived source of their frustration.

Using examples to illustrate this chain of events:

(1) You first feel frustration about believing you are blocked in moving toward your goal of having a long-term committed relationship. You then feel anger toward your partner who does not want to commit as the perceived source of your frustration. This may then lead you to behave aggressively toward your partner—perhaps by behaving coldly toward them or by criticizing them;

(2) You as a parent first feel frustration about believing you are blocked in moving toward your goal of having your child do what you ask or expect them to do. You then feel anger toward your child who does not do what you want or expect them to do as the perceived source of your frustration. This may then lead you to behave aggressively toward your child—perhaps by yelling at them.

(3) You first feel frustration about believing you are blocked in moving toward your goal of getting away for a relaxing weekend. You then feel anger toward your supervisor who assigned you a large task on Friday afternoon as the perceived source of your frustration. This may then lead you to behave aggressively toward your supervisor—perhaps by losing your cool when you see them.

When frustration and anger lead to displaced aggression (scapegoating)

On some occasions, we experience frustration followed by anger but we behave aggressively toward someone or something other than the perceived source of our frustration. This phenomenon is known as displaced aggression or scapegoating. The latter term indicates that the recipient of our aggression is an innocent third party who is undeserving of our wrath.

But why would someone behave aggressively toward an innocent third party rather than toward the perceived source of their frustration and anger? There are two situations leading to displaced aggression and scapegoating:

1. You view the perceived source of frustration as too powerful to behave aggressively toward. For example, although you would like to give your supervisor a piece of your mind for the extra work they have assigned you which ruined your weekend plans you fear that doing so could you your job.  So instead, you overreact with a verbal barrage toward a grocery store clerk who mistakenly scanned one or your items more than once.

2. There is not a source of frustration and anger toward which you can behave aggressively. For example, you may be frustrated and angry that worldwide economic events have blocked you from achieving your goal of making more money so you can afford a new car. Given that you cannot behave aggressively toward the world economy, you instead punch a hole in the wall of your home when you realize you are not making any progress toward your goal of buying your dream car.

How to manage frustration and anger to reduce aggression

Although unfortunately frustration, anger and aggression often operate in tandem as described in this article, such a sequence of events culminating in the negative outcome of aggression is not inevitable. Learning and applying strategies to manage the emotions of frustration and anger can help you to reduce the likelihood of behaving aggressively when you experience these emotions. I will discuss these strategies in my next article.

May you be mindful of when frustration and anger leave you susceptible to behaving aggressively,

Dr. Pat