To worry or not to worry: That is the question

In this article, I discuss the pros and cons of worrying and how scheduling ‘worrying time’ can be effective for you.

In my work as a Calgary psychologist and a Cochrane psychologist, a common problem for which clients seek help is worrying. They tell me they spend a lot of time worrying about matters such as their work, relationships, finances and health. They add that their worrying causes them a lot of stress and that they would therefore like me to give them strategies to help them stop worrying.

My usual response is that it would be both futile and unhelpful for me to try to help them to stop worrying. Instead, I offer them strategies to help them worry in a helpful way so that that they can derive the benefits of worrying without the disadvantages. I will focus on these matters in the following sections.

The futility of trying not to worry

Trying not to worry is an exercise in futility because it is an example of thought suppression. That is, trying not to think about something does not work. In fact, research indicates that the more you try not to think about something, the more likely it will be on your mind. If you are skeptical, for the next 30 seconds make it a point not to think about a white bear. The same logic applies to worries: The more you try not to think about them, the more they will be on your mind.

If you’re going to worry, how to do it right

Given that trying not to worry is futile, how should you worry so that it is helpful rather than detrimental? There are two guidelines to follow in achieving this goal. One focuses on choosing the right time to worry. The second focuses on choosing the right way to spend your worrying time.

Choosing the right time to worry

Many people don’t schedule worrying time because they think they will just make themselves miserable and stressed. They instead spend the day futilely trying not to worry or, when they recognize the futility of the latter tactic, they try to deal with their worries in the middle of a busy day. In addition to the disadvantage of this approach in relying on the futile strategy of trying not to worry, it has the additional drawback of trying to deal with worries at a time when you are trying to focus on other important tasks such as those at work/school or in your relationships.

This tactic necessarily disrupts your ability to focus on and effectively perform these tasks. It has the further disadvantage of being ineffective in helping you to address your worries because you are not devoting sufficient time to addressing them. This disadvantage is compounded by your ability to focus on developing strategies to address your worries being negatively affected by your attention being occupied by those other important tasks.

Choosing the right time to worry involves setting aside a period of time—such as half an hour every day—in which you can focus on worrying about anything you choose. This strategy has several benefits over the tactic of trying not to worry at all or dealing with worries while trying to accomplish other tasks. One such benefit is that because you have set aside time to deal with your worries, the obsessive pattern stemming from trying not to worry will not be present. In other words, your worries will ‘leave you alone’ because you’ve scheduled a time to deal with them.

This leads to a second key advantage of scheduling worrying time: It allows you to focus on other tasks during the day leading up to your worrying time without being distracted by your worries. This lets you perform these tasks more effectively. Finally, scheduling worrying time has the advantage of allowing yourself time to focus on your worries in a non-distracted manner. This facilitates your developing strategies to deal with your worries in a manner which allows you to feel better. Examples of proven-effective strategies you can use during your worrying time follow.

How to maximize the benefits of your worrying time

There are good and bad ways to spend your worrying time. A bad way is to ruminate on your worries. This entails going over and over in your mind about not being able to cope with one or more of your worries. Good ways to use worrying time include systematically assessing the likelihood of your worries coming to pass. Many times such analysis reveals that you have been overestimating the likelihood of feared events occurring. In turn, this can substantially reduce the anxiety you experience as a result of your worries.

A second good way to spend worrying time is to plan steps and strategies you can use to help you cope effectively with your worries if your worst-case scenarios do indeed come about. Improving confidence in your ability to cope also has a ‘track record’ of significantly reducing the anxiety stemming from worries.

If you believe you could benefit from the skills discussed in this article but are not clear on how to get started, not to worry! A psychologist specializing in cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) can guide you in the use of these strategies. I have helped many clients in anxiety counselling become proficient in effectively managing their worries through the application of these strategies.

May you worry in the right way,

-Dr. Pat