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Stress

My defense of work-life balance

In this article, I discuss why, despite recent statements to the contrary, work-life balance is a good thing. For as long as I can remember, work-life balance has been a value which most people have endorsed. Most companies, including those for whom I have worked, have espoused the concept even though some did not practice it. However, recently I was shocked to hear some people publicly denouncing work-life balance. This led me to consider that my next article should be one in which I argue in defense of what I believe is an important value. In the following sections, I will make the case in favour of work-life balance...[more]

2025-11-16T21:43:02-07:00By |Categories: Sport & Performance, Stress|
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Sleep and sex: They have more in common than a bed

In this article, I discuss how focusing on processes rather than outcomes facilitates a good night’s sleep and fulfilling sexual relationships. A good night’s sleep and fulfilling sexual relationships play pivotal roles in people’s emotional well-being. An obvious connection between these two goals is that they share the location where the activity occurs. ... However, there is another thing they have in common. What it takes to be successful in each area is remarkably similar. I will discuss this common factor in the following sections...[more]

2025-09-14T21:41:50-06:00By |Categories: Relationships, Stress|
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Problem-focused coping: An often-overlooked key to managing stress

In this article, I discuss how acting to address problems can go a long way in helping you to manage stress. A common issue for which clients seek help in therapy is managing stress. Among the clients whose goal is to manage stress, many want strategies to help them improve their emotional reactions to problems and stressful situations. Although I offer such strategies to clients, I also help them to implement an often-overlooked part of the stress management equation. This involves helping them act to address problems and stressful situations.’ In the following sections, I will discuss why this ‘problem-focused coping’ is a key to managing stress and how it is done...[more]

2025-01-19T18:01:29-07:00By |Categories: Stress|
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Managing conflict at holiday gatherings: Follow basic principles

In this article, I discuss how you can use basic principles for managing conflict to manage conflict at holiday gatherings. This Christmas holiday session often features gatherings among family, friends, co-workers and others. Although many of these gatherings are enjoyable, some of them are stressful. These unpleasant gatherings often involve conflict resulting from people with different attitudes on issues ranging from politics to religion interacting with each other. Managing this conflict effectively can make these unpleasant gatherings less unpleasant and even enjoyable in some circumstances. Following basic principles for managing conflict can help you to achieve this goal. I will discuss how you can do this in the following sections...[more]

2024-12-01T18:02:34-07:00By |Categories: Relationships, Stress|
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Focus with balance: The recipe to follow when pursuing goals

In this article, I discuss the importance of focusing on tasks while maintaining balance in one’s life when pursuing goals. I recently watched a compelling documentary film entitled The Weight of Gold. Narrated by swimming legend Michael Phelps, the film featured the mental health challenges faced by several American Olympians in various sports. The common theme underlying the emotional difficulties of these athletes was the pressure they felt from focusing completely on their Olympic goals while having little balance from engaging in activities and relationships in other parts of their lives. This led me to consider the importance of combining focus on tasks to achieve one’s goals with having balance in the form of activities and relationships apart from these goals. In the following sections, I will discuss why this combination of focus and balance is important both for fostering good mental health as well as making it more likely you can achieve your goals...[more]

2024-10-20T15:59:44-06:00By |Categories: Sport & Performance, Stress|
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Physical self-focused coping: Relax your body to manage stress

In this article, I discuss why performing activities to relax your body is fundamental to managing stress. One of the most common issues clients for which clients seek help is how to manage stress. When I work with clients on this issue, I help them to implement a ‘game plan’ for managing stress which consists of a set of strategies. A key component of this game plan for managing stress is performing activities which relax the body to relieve the physical tension which comprises the stress response known as ‘fight or flight’. In the following sections, I will discuss the activities you can perform which accomplish this goal...[more]

2023-08-27T18:31:00-06:00By |Categories: Sport & Performance, Stress|
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Are the emotional benefits of an activity worth the costs? Strategies to help you decide

In this article, I will help you decide whether to pursue activities by weighing the emotional costs and benefits. In my last article, I discussed an important consideration in deciding whether to pursue various vocational opportunities, activities and relationships—the emotional costs and benefits which you derive. In that article, I also provided examples of the emotional costs and benefits commonly encountered in activities like education and work, hobbies and interests and relationships. In the following sections, I will provide strategies to help you decide whether the benefits you derive from the positive emotions associated with an activity make it worth it to put up with the emotional costs which come with the activity...[more]

2023-08-13T20:39:15-06:00By |Categories: Psychology, Stress|
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Weighing the emotional costs and benefits of your activities

In this article, I discuss an important consideration in deciding whether to pursue various activities, vocational opportunities, and relationships—the emotional costs and benefits which you derive. It is axiomatic that we derive the greatest enjoyment, meaning and fulfilment from our various activities such as education, work, hobbies and interests as well as our relationships. These activities enhance our lives largely because they allow us to experience a myriad of positive emotions such as happiness, joy, love, enthusiasm, passion, pride and excitement—to name just a few. While engaging in these activities, we also necessarily experience negative emotions such as sadness, anxiety, frustration, anger, hurt, disappointment, guilt and shame—to name a few. In effect, if we want to enjoy experiencing the positive emotions from participating in these activities we must pay a price by also experiencing the negative emotions. In the following sections, I will give several examples of how the pursuits in which we engage lead us to experience both positive and negative emotions. In my next article, I will provide guidelines on how to decide whether the benefits you derive from the positive emotions associated with an activity make it worth it also to experience the costs which come with the activity...[more]

2023-07-30T21:29:41-06:00By |Categories: Psychology, Stress|
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The importance of attending to tasks which are not urgent but important

In this article, I discuss how addressing matters which are not urgent but important is vital to your relationships, your mental health and your career. In his classic book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, the late Dr. Stephen Covey listed ‘put first things first’ as the third of the seven habits practiced by highly effective people. This habit, which focuses on spending time on what is most important to you, manifests itself through attending to tasks which are what Dr. Covey called ‘not urgent but important’. Such tasks often get neglected in favour of tasks which have a sense of urgency such as those which have deadlines.  ‘Not urgent but important’ tasks typically do not have deadlines and often involve taking time to plan for or take steps toward current or new goals you are pursuing. Spending time on these not urgent but important tasks is often what can make the biggest difference in your attaining a sense of achievement and fulfillment in life. In the following sections, I will discuss three areas in which it is important to attend to tasks which are not urgent but important—your relationships, your mental health and your career...[more]

2023-06-18T20:25:05-06:00By |Categories: Relationships, Stress|
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Making lemonade from lemons: Reaping benefits from adversity

In this article, I discuss how a demanding situation I recently experienced revealed several benefits. A little over a month ago, I experienced significant adversity in the form of my car being stolen. It was stressful on the day it occurred and it has continued to be stressful as I cope with the aftermath of this unfortunate event. Having said that, I am pleased to report that I have experienced many benefits because of this challenging curve ball which the universe has thrown me. Some of these positives were expected while others were pleasant surprises. I will discuss these benefits of my recent vehicular adversity in the following sections...[more]

2023-05-07T20:34:57-06:00By |Categories: Psychology, Stress|
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