How to avoid ruminating on self-righteous anger

In this article, I discuss strategies you can use to avoid ruminating on self-righteous anger. In my last article, I compared the appeal of focusing on self-righteous anger to the lure of the sirens in Greek mythology. I then discussed the great costs of such ruminating: It takes an emotional and physical toll; it decreases ability to focus and perform well; it detracts from enjoyment of activities; it impairs social relationships; and it leads to a cycle of negativity. Because of these great costs, it is important to have strategies to avoid ruminating on self-righteous anger...[more]

2019-10-20T21:18:12-06:00By |Categories: Anger|

The siren song of self-righteous anger

In this article, I discuss the attractiveness of ruminating on self-righteous anger and the high price of doing so. The appeal of focusing on self-righteous anger reminds me of the lure of the sirens in Greek mythology. The seductive song of the sirens was so pleasurable to sailors that they were lured to their deaths. Like the sirens, self-righteous anger can be seductive and pleasurable. It feels good internally to express to others and to yourself that you are in the right and one or more others are wrong. Being able to ‘vent’ to supportive listeners in such circumstances feels good as we are validated for our views and opinions. Unfortunately, as with the sirens there is a cost to focusing on thoughts which fuel self-righteous anger..[more]

2019-10-06T21:43:16-06:00By |Categories: Anger|

How to manage your moods behaviourally while waiting for cognitive skills to take effect

In this article, I discuss how you can use behavioural skills to manage your moods while waiting for your efforts with cognitive skills to pay off. My work with clients typically entails helping them learn cognitive and behavioural strategies to address their issues. Many of these issues involve managing moods such as depression, anxiety, anger and frustration. One challenge in using this dual-pronged approach is that behavioural strategies generally show more immediate benefits compared with cognitive strategies. This occurs because behavioural strategies usually involve taking some action in a straightforward manner whereas cognitive strategies entail learning and applying skills to change your interpretation of situations in order to experience emotional relief...[more]

2019-07-28T21:40:18-06:00By |Categories: Anger, Anxiety, Depression|

How to manage your emotions while driving: A double-barreled approach

In this article, I discuss how to manage your stress and anger behind the wheel. As someone who drives to and from work several days a week, I have experienced many challenges in managing stress and anger. Dealing with gridlock when you need to be somewhere by a certain time, encountering drivers who behave in an inconsiderate manner and experiencing car problems are just some of the events which can tax a person’s ability to manage their stress and anger behind the wheel. Being subjected to these events each day can wear on a person to the point of burnout. Fortunately, there are strategies to manage one’s emotions which can be applied to driving challenges including those I’ve mentioned...[more]

2019-07-28T21:36:42-06:00By |Categories: Anger, Stress|

Dr. Pat featured in the June 2019 edition of Reader’s Digest

Look for the June 2019 edition of Reader’s Digest Canada. Dr. Pat was interviewed for the cover story, “Getting Angry, The Right Way; How to harness your rage and reap the rewards” by Lisa Bendall. In the article Lisa, does an excellent job outlining common issues and misconceptions around anger with practical advice on ways to deal with anger constructively.

2019-05-23T11:03:40-06:00By |Categories: Anger, In the Media|

How to address abuse in a relationship: Take the right approach in counselling

In this article, I discuss the relative merits of different options clients can take to address issues involving abusive behaviour in relationships.In my work as a Calgary psychologist and a Cochrane psychologist, I sometimes work with individuals and couples whose goal is to address abusive behaviour in relationships. This is an issue often entails a pattern in which one partner in a relationship engages in behaviours intended to dominate and control the other partner. This leads to abuse in various forms including verbal and physical.There are different counselling options for addressing the issue of abuse in relationships...[more]

2019-03-24T22:05:01-06:00By |Categories: Anger, Relationships|

How to catch hot thoughts so that you can check and change them to feel better

In this article, I discuss several techniques to help you pinpoint the negative thoughts which are causing your emotional distress. In my work as a Calgary psychologist and a Cochrane psychologist, I often have clients who can benefit from skills from cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). One of the most beneficial CBT skills is a thought record. The use of thought records helps a person to feel better by catching, checking and changing ‘hot thoughts’. Hot thoughts are negatively skewed beliefs which people have when they are experiencing strong and unpleasant moods like sadness, anxiety, anger, frustration, guilt, shame and embarrassment, among others...[more]

2018-08-26T21:08:13-06:00By |Categories: Anger, Anxiety, Depression|

How to pick yourself up when you’ve ‘fallen down’

In this article, I discuss how to keep moving forward in the face of repeated adversity at the hands of others. One of my favourite movies is Falling Down from 1993 which stars Michael Douglas. It features a man having an extremely frustrating day in which he encounters one thing after another going wrong. His frustration is compounded by it being created primarily by people who appear to care only for themselves and who enjoy inflicting suffering on others. The film begins with Douglas’s character, referred to as ‘D-Fens’ in reference to the letters on his license plate, being let go from his job because he was ‘not economically viable’. On his drive home on a blistering hot day, he is stuck in the middle of noisy traffic because of construction work which does not seem to be serving any purpose. D-Fens abandons his car and encounters a series of frustrations to which he responds each time with a violent retaliation toward the source of his frustration. This includes taking a baseball bat to the...[more]

2018-01-29T22:14:46-07:00By |Categories: Anger, Depression|

Choosing a good hot thought: Situation-specific or general

In this article, I discuss how to choose a good hot thought which you can check and change to feel better in difficult situations. Much of my work as a Calgary psychologist and a Cochrane psychologist entails helping my clients to change how they feel by changing the way they think, a key process in cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). In this process, clients use a tool known as a thought record to track the negative thoughts which come into their minds in everyday difficult situations they encounter. These negative thoughts are known in CBT as ‘hot thoughts’ and are largely responsible for the person experiencing undue distress in response to these situations in the form of emotions like anxiety, anger, frustration, guilt and sadness.  Fortunately, these hot thoughts are typically beliefs which are not completely accurate and, with the help of a thought record, can be changed to more accurate ‘balanced thoughts’ which reduce emotional distress to a more manageable level. An important consideration in deciding which hot thought to work on is whether it is a thought which is specific to the upsetting situation or one which is ‘underneath’ the situation-specific thought and is more general in scope...[more]

2017-10-05T20:57:16-06:00By |Categories: Anger, Anxiety, Depression|

Two motivators to change behaviour: Hope for the good and fear of the bad

In this article, I discuss how you can use hope for positive consequences and fear of negative consequences as motivators to help you change unwanted behaviour patterns. In my work as a Calgary psychologist and a Cochrane psychologist, clients sometimes have the goal of changing unwanted behaviour patterns such as procrastination, losing one’s temper and excessive substance use. One of the best ways to help clients achieve behaviour change in these instances is to help them focus on motivators for the types of change they are seeking. Two types of motivators serve this purpose...[more]

2017-07-30T23:14:12-06:00By |Categories: Addictions, Anger|
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