Battle of connection with the present: The observing self versus the thinking self

In his landmark book The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle discusses the benefits of focusing on the present such as by enjoying an activity or a conversation in which one is engaged through immersion and focus. As Mr. Tolle points out, one’s focus on the present is often disrupted by dwelling on worries about the future and/or ruminating on negative thoughts about the past. In the following sections, I will discuss ideas from another prominent book which detail the challenges our minds pose to connecting with the present.

Two parts of the mind: The observing self and the thinking self

In The Happiness Trap, Dr. Russ Harris discusses the value of connecting with the present and how two parts of our minds relate to this process. He refers to these two parts as the thinking self and the observing self.

Characteristics of the observing self

We are using the observing self when we focus on the present. This might entail noticing your breath as you inhale and exhale, listening carefully to someone with whom you are having a conversation, being completely absorbed in the play during a hockey game (as the Great One Wayne Gretzky was), or noticing the various colours of a rainbow.

When you are using the observing self, you are focused on the present moment in a non-judgmental way.  Using the observing self is akin to the state of ‘flow’ referred to Dr. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi in Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. in which we are so immersed in what we are doing or what is happening in the moment that we lose track of time and are not dwelling on future worries or past concerns.

Characteristics of the thinking self

We are using the thinking self when we are focused on thoughts which enter our minds about past or future matters while we are doing something in the present. The future-oriented thoughts comprising the thinking self are often concerned about preparing for events. Unfortunately, they also often contain worrisome thoughts regarding negative events and/or our being unable to cope with such events.

Thoughts comprising the thinking self which focus on the past are often self-critical thoughts regarding one’s past behaviours. Such self-critical thoughts in the thinking self may even be related to one’s behaviour in the present. For example, a person may focus on negative thoughts about the poor impression they believe they are making while they are having a conversation with someone.

How the thinking self and the observing self ‘interact’

As you might expect, thoughts comprising the thinking self have the potential to detract from your ability to use the observing self to focus on the present. For example, you may be attempting to engage in a potentially pleasurable activity such as having a conversation with a friend, going for walk in nature or playing a game or a sport. During the activity, self-critical and/or worrisome thoughts enter your mind and contribute to you feeling depressed, anxious, frustrated, angry and/or guilty.

You try not to think about these thoughts but doing so only leads them to become more prominent and take the focus off your engagement in the present activity to a greater extent. In short, your goal of connecting with the present by using your observing self has been thwarted by your becoming ‘hooked’ into thoughts from the thinking self.

Can the observing self rise to the challenges posed by the thinking self?

We’ve already concluded that trying not to think about the thoughts from the thinking self only makes those thoughts take on greater focus. So is connecting with the present through the observing self a goal which simply cannot be attained because of the thinking self?

Fortunately, there are strategies which you can use to connect with the present by using your observing self despite the presence of thoughts coming from the thinking self. These strategies involve focusing on the present while managing thoughts coming from the thinking self. I will discuss these strategies in my next article.

May you be aware of your observing self and your thinking self,

Dr. Pat