Viewing counselling like a trip to the dentist is less helpful than comparing it to working with a personal trainer or a coach. In this article, I will explain these two different client mindsets regarding counselling and why the ‘personal trainer’ approach leads to better results than the ‘dental visit’ approach.
In my work as a Calgary psychologist and a Cochrane psychologist, I have encountered two distinctive views of the counselling process among my clients. One view is of counselling as akin to a visit to the dentist. Clients with this view expect that their therapist will ‘work on them’ while they passively sit in their chair much like a dentist works on a patient’s teeth while the patient lies still with their mouth open. Clients with the second view approach counselling as one would approach working with a personal trainer or a coach. As such, they view their therapist as a professional who will give them skills and exercises they can learn and practice to address their issues. In the following sections, I will discuss how these two views of counselling manifest themselves in therapy and why one of these views leads to success in addressing one’s issues while the other is less likely to do so.
How the two views lead to differences in how active the client is in counselling
One way in which the two views of counselling manifest themselves is in how active a participant the client is in the counselling process. Clients who view counselling like a visit to the dentist are less open to actively participating in counselling by working with the therapist on skills and strategies the therapist proposes to help them with their issues. They also tend to be less open to doing homework between sessions to practice these skills and strategies. Being actively involved in working on their issues conflicts with their view that the professional should be ‘working on them’ by addressing their issues without their playing an active role in the process.
In contrast, clients with the view of counselling as akin to working with a personal trainer or coach recognize that their active involvement is essential for them to make progress. This results in their working with their therapist on skills and strategies their therapist proposes to help them address their issues as well as actively doing homework between sessions to practice these skills and strategies. Not surprisingly, their efforts pay off in the form of much better results in addressing their issues compared with clients who have the passive ‘dental visit’ view of counselling.
How the two views lead to differences in client expectations regarding the pace of progress
A second way in which the two views affect the course of counselling is in the client’s expectations regarding the pace of progress. Clients with the dental visit perspective not only expect their therapist to fix them like a dentist fixes teeth but also tend to expect the therapist to fix them in the same amount of time it takes a dentist to fix teeth—that is, very quickly. Clients with this view tend not to be patient with the more gradual pace at which progress in counselling necessarily occurs.
Clients with the personal trainer/coach view of counselling are more likely to recognize and accept that most issues take some time to address. Their patience with the pace of counselling progress stems from their awareness that progress occurs from becoming proficient at skills and strategies and that becoming proficient at these skills and strategies requires practice. Having patience with the pace of counselling progress results in these clients diligently putting effort into practicing skills and strategies. Their efforts pay off in the form of success in addressing their issues. In contrast, the limited patience of those with the dental visit view leads them not to put similar effort into practicing skills and strategies. This predictably leads to less progress in addressing their issues.
So if you want to have the best chance of success in addressing your issues in counselling, view your psychologist in the same way you view your personal trainer or coach rather than as you view your dentist.
May you adopt a view of counselling which gets you results,
-Dr. Pat
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