How to change your personality through therapy

In my last article, I discussed the nature of personality as a relatively stable way of thinking, feeling and behaving. I then discussed goals you can set to change your personality to benefit your life.

In this article, I will discuss strategies you can use in therapy to achieve your personality change goals. I will use the example goal of being less depressed as a personality change to which these strategies can be applied.

Identify change strategies based on the definition of personality

Strategies to change personality are based on the definition of personality. That is, given that personality is defined as a relatively stable way of thinking, feeling and behaving, changing personality entails changing your relatively stable way of thinking, feeling and behaving.

Fortunately, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) focuses on strategies to change thoughts, feelings and behaviours. In turn, learning and practicing these strategies until they become habits is an effective way to change your personality in the direction you are seeking.

How to apply strategies by using depression as an example

One of the most common goals for which clients seek therapy is to overcome depression. And although clients rarely state their goal in these terms, they are typically seeking to change their personalities to become less depressed.

Achieving this therapy goal entails first identifying the relatively stable way of thinking, feeling and behaving associated with depression. Then, strategies are applied to change this way of thinking, feeling and behaving in the direction of less depression or improved mood.

Thoughts, feelings and behaviours associated with depression

Depressed people have negatively biased thinking characterized by the negative cognitive triad. The triad is comprised of negative thoughts about themselves (such as “I am a loser”); negative thoughts about their current circumstances (such as “My life sucks”) and pessimistic thoughts about their futures (such as “I have nothing to look forward to”).

Depressed people’s behaviours consist of a lack of activities which are good for their mood. Instead, they spend much of their time ruminating—dwelling on negative thoughts about themselves, their current circumstances and their futures. The result is that their mood is depressed on an ongoing basis.

Changing a depressed personality

Changing a depressed personality entails using strategies to change the negative way of thinking, feeling and behaving which characterize depression. Strategies to change negative thinking focus on cognitive restructuring. That is, skills like thought records are used to help the depressed person think in a more accurate and less negatively biased way about themselves, their current circumstances and their future.

Strategies to change a depressed person’s behaviours focus on behavioural activation. This involves scheduling activities which are good for one’s mood to substitute for the time spent on ruminating. These include enjoyable individual and social activities along with mastery activities. These are hobbies and interests which the person finds challenging and which use their skills and talents.

Changes in a depressed person’s mood are facilitated by making changes in their thinking and behaviour regularly so that they become habits.

Applying these strategies to other personality change goals

These strategies can be applied to other personality change goals. For example, someone whose goal is to become less anxious would focus on changing their overly negative thoughts which focus on overestimating the likelihood of negative events happening to them and underestimating their ability to cope.

For behavioural change, they would target their tendency to avoid situations by gradually exposing themselves to such situations. Combined with their cognitive changes, behavioural exposure would lead to their anxiety decreasing in intensity through desensitization and by amassing evidence that they can cope with such situations. Making these cognitive and behavioural strategies habits would help the person to achieve their goal of becoming less anxious on an ongoing basis.

It may be helpful for you to work with a psychologist to help you apply the strategies discussed in this article.

May you use CBT strategies to achieve your personality change goals,

-Dr. Pat